Posts Tagged ‘ Absurdism ’

Review: Bradley Sands’s PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT ME IN THE FACE

January 20, 2012
Review: Bradley Sands’s PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT ME IN THE FACE

Having first come to Bradley Sands work by a chance collision with a slim book titled Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, (a disjointed collection of prose and other things which almost resemble poems) I had essentially no expectations when it came to Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face. Sands defies even the term “non sequitor” because for one that is too fancy of a word and two implies that there is some reasonable way of categorizing what he does. With this is in mind, I had a hard time figuring out how Sands would construct a novel.

The answer is yes.

The novel moves in the  jerky movements of Sands’s shorter prose yet bewilderingly maintains a linear structure throughout. Characters’ homes explode or fly into a McDonald’s franchise competing in a city-wide demolition derby and most of them make it out alive. A man falls out of a 300 story building and survives by having his fall broken by a pile of pigeon leavings. A boy detective is sawed in half by his divorcing parents only to become an even better detective. An overweight ninja has few combat skills other than his “silent but extremely deadly” flatulence. In between all of these outlandish plot progressions the boy detective repeatedly breaks the fourth wall in conversations with Bradley Sands hoping to detect the theme of his novel while insisting this is actually a collection of novellas; the latter vehemently disagrees. Miraculously I was able to read the book in one very comfortable sitting and was actually convinced I had read something that makes sense.

In the midst of all this are not so subtle critiques made about life in general. Think Stephen Colbert style satire meets Jim Carey pre-Eternal Sunshine. In the novel’s middle and …

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Finale by Paul A. Toth: The Entire First Chapter

November 19, 2009

EIGHT

Divided I crawled, semi-united I stood, and disembodied I fell. All I ever wanted was to walk the line like Johnny Cash, strong and true, but the line walked me until that letter arrived, and then it stomped me. It might be said it wasn’t even a line but a circle or a hole.

I ran my fingernail along the words, pressed deep into the paper by what must have been more punching than typing.

“If I were you, I’d keep your potatoes peeled. Make sure they don’t get mashed. Maybe then you’ll keep your eyes on one girl. Or maybe you won’t stay in one place until you’re dead.”…

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Life Passes You By – by John Bennett

September 23, 2009

The Age of Reason. The Iron Age. The iron horse. The steel trap. The better mouse trap. Cunnilingus in a sausage factory. Fellatio in the Eiffel Tower. Clever people put their heads together and out pops a euphemism. A virgin birth, first step toward a rosy crucifixion. There must be some way out of here without being turned into Plastic Man or the Incredible Hulk.

Pop culture, popcorn, soda pop and a double-feature matinée. It’s dark when you get outside again, and you can’t find your car. You jangle your keys in your pocket and whistle. Maybe it will come like a dog.

Come like a dog! Flashbacks to the sausage factory and the Eiffel Tower. Bad dog!  Heel!

People give you a wide berth, get in their own cars and drive off. The parking lot’s empty.

You don’t even report the thing stolen. You walk all the way home and go in through the back door. Inside in the dark there’s a cuckoo bird blapping off the windows and ceiling. You chase it around with a spatula, but it’s too quick for you. You settle down over yesterday’s mail and rip open the top envelope. Read it by candlelight.

A Norwegian girl who a long time ago took you to Valhalla and back has settled in Paris where spring has erupted in cherry blossoms and daffodils. She’s just spent the whole afternoon at an outdoor cafe drinking espresso with a German.

The candle blows out in a back draft, and you realize that your life has passed you by.…

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