Old Man

Funny how you remember people. “Close the ice box!” Grandad would yell. “Turn the

light off!” He never cursed or swore, or anything like that. But that tone of voice, the look

on his face. Like “you dumb motherfucker” was always at the start or end of a sentence..........

Continued......

Old Man

Funny how you remember people. “Close the ice box!” Grandad would yell. “Turn the

light off!” He never cursed or swore, or anything like that. But that tone of voice, the look

on his face. Like “you dumb motherfucker” was always at the start or end of a sentence.

An old guy, from the depression era, the 30’s, barely made it through, I guess. Marked

him for life. Couldn’t keep the door open on the ice box, for long, back when ice was all

you had to keep things cool. Still calls the fridge the ‘ice box.’ Still thinking poor, can’t

leave a light on; might run up the bill. But what it says to me is “all that stuff’s more

important than a little piece a shit like you.”

He raised his kids as best he could, I guess, even through the depression. Did what he

could for ‘em. And then raised some of their kids, when illness took his oldest son’s wife.

Now he’s on his third set, since Mom left. Left us with Gramma and Grandad. The

feeling, I suppose, from her side...well, I never really thought of it. Never even entered

my mind.

But the feeling of it from my side is this “Mom didn’t want you, left you with somebody

else.” Translates into - jeez, if you’re own mother doesn’t want you. Man, you gotta be

some kind of worthless piece a shit. Right? I mean, what kind of...even animals care for

their young.

Walked with a limp, he did. Dislocated his hip when he was kid. They never could set it

right. Now an old man, he’s all bent over. Big old man with all that weight, shuffling

around with his cane and slippers. Thin white hair receded way back, like he could care

less about it. Just makes him look sorta wild and mean.

I was always afraid of him. Scared he’d fly off the handle. Scared to death of him. I

don’t think...don’t remember him ever spanking me; just such a big imposing brute of

a man. One time I said something, said the wrong thing and then ran. He caught me

though, hit me with that great big paw. That paw that could hold a man up off the

ground. Could knock a man down in the street. What’d he think it could do to a kid?

Didn’t mean to hit that hard, I suppose.

And that’s how it was, all the time. Scared that he’d get mad about something. Him

and Gramma playing cards, maybe she’d wander off, lose interest. He’d get mad,

start a row. The two of them, always bickering about something. Best to stay outta the

way. Go off by yourself somewhere. Make up your own games, your own world of

things in your mind.

Up ‘til I was eleven or twelve or so. And that’s your whole life when you’re a kid.

That’s all you know. And nobody knows that. When you’re in high school, that’s

your whole life. And nobody knows that. But when I was eleven or twelve, I’d play

chess with Grandad. He’d taught me, over the years, cards and chess. Loved to play,

love to have someone to play with. Sitting there in his big old chair, too stove up to

move. A big old wooden chair he’d made himself, years earlier.

We’d play and sometimes I’d win. I don’t know. Maybe I was quick, I don’t know.

Couldn’t beat him at any of the card games - whist, euchre, stuff like that. Never

even learned to play the cribbage that he and Gramma suffered over every night.

But chess, I loved playing chess against him. But then it got so he couldn’t win

anymore. The last time, I remember he accidentally knocked the board over. All the

pieces fell on the floor. I just smiled. Poor old guy.

Then he went to the hospital, for his heart I guess. He was old, all stove up. Heart

wasn’t working right. It was like that for awhile; so’s you got used to it, almost.

Then at the end in intensive care, I asked him “Grandad...are you...ever gonna make

it outta here?” “I don’t know” he told me. Of course he didn’t. And that was that.

But I loved that old man. Strange how you remember people.

Last update : 25-11-2007 18:04

Average user rating

   (0 vote)